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Here I Am

February 29, 2012

Before you begin reading, stop a moment. Close your eyes and breathe. Breathe deeply…. Breathe slowly. Notice your body as it changes its rhythm.  Don’t think.  Just notice.

If you have trouble finding a calm, quiet place, don’t worry, don’t struggle, don’t work at it. Just breathe. Just notice. Be aware of your breath as it travels its course…in and out…in……and out……and rest…just rest. Let go of the controls you’re placing on your mind, your emotions, your spirit.

You will feel a shift, the slightest change in the tension in your body, its placement, its intensity.  In the space left where the tension once was, in the breathing room that remains where once you held a death grip on the controls…this is where you begin. This is the door to your soul.

Now, open your eyes.

We spend most of our days living somewhere outside of ourselves, disconnected from our essence, our core self, cloaking ourselves instead in the outer culture…the over culture. If you are like me, as your day picks up speed you feel yourself leaning forward, pushing outward, grasping for a foothold outside yourself. You reach for something. What? An anchor? A client? A new project? A friend? A kindred spirit? A cupcake? A drink? We wake up every day and go out into the world in search of what? Are we looking for that someone who will keep us going, that something that will keep us feeling alive, connected, anchored?  What is it that we are searching for?

Most of the time, we come home empty-handed.  Why?

We think we don’t know what we want, or what we are looking for. The truth is we are looking in the wrong place. It is not “out there”. Never was. Never will be. It is right here, right now, waiting…within us… in this space that only we can set free…that only we can allow to breathe…to live.  The most spectacular, incredible, powerful gift, the gift that is us…that is you and that is me…is here, right now…waiting…waiting for you to notice…waiting for me to notice…waiting for us to say “ah….there I am…thank you”.

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. February 29, 2012 3:51 pm

    Ah, Dorothy! What you write about and how you write never cease to amaze and delight me. The pause to breathe, to be, to live — so important! Thanks for reminding me of this.

  2. February 29, 2012 5:44 pm

    Thank you for this beautiful, calming,centering meditation ,Dorothy. Just breathe! Great advice in our busy, distracted days. I appreciate the reminder. 🙂

  3. February 29, 2012 6:07 pm

    Thank you ~thank you ~ thank you ❤ Just what I needed at just this minute.

  4. March 1, 2012 10:44 am

    You all make me smile and keep me afloat! Thank you for your warm fuzzies.

  5. March 1, 2012 3:56 pm

    Ahhh, indeed. So well said.

  6. March 1, 2012 11:01 pm

    Ditto to what everyone before me has written!

    In the past several weeks, I’ve found myself working very long hours which encompasses sitting in front of the computer screen. Last weekend I actually came crashing down from the stress and I experienced a full-blown panic/anxiety attack unlike any I can remember in recent years. It was not fun!

    This week I became aware that when I am stressed out, my shoulders are tensed up and I am actually holding my breath as I work! I am so focused on getting the job done because I want to quit and move on to other things I need to do. Which only means that I am certainly not living in the moment (and consciously breathing) but frustrating myself to no end! So in essence, I have virtually tied myself in knots! Thank you, Dorothy, for reminding me that I need to stop this nonsensical behavior and give myself space (if you will) to rest, breathe & rejuvenate. In fact, this is quite possibly the most productive thing I will do all day! ^_^

    • March 1, 2012 11:56 pm

      You know Diane, I’m not at all sure the computer is good for us! I love the fact that the internet has allowed me to connect with such wonderful people like you and and the rest of the women who visit here, but there is a price to pay. It can literally suck the life out of us as you have discovered! I clench my teeth when I’m concentrating and my teeth have been fracturing right and left! So you’re not alone! I wish we could beam ourselves up to a virtual living room and sit back, put our feet up and have coffee together!

      I too had a panic attack this week. Mine was caused by PTSD from my accident. We passed a motorcycle accident on the way to the grocery store and seeing the man lying in the street just set it off. I am just grateful my husband was with me and I wasn’t driving. But it feels so awful!! And, it takes it’s toll physically. I was exhausted the rest of the day. Our world has become so much more stressful. I think we have to do everything we can to keep our lives simple and calm when we can. I’m glad you decided to take a break and breathe! I need to do that right now! 🙂

      • March 2, 2012 12:48 pm

        Dorothy ~ I am sooooo sorry to hear you also had a panic attack. I pray it has now passed and you are feeling much better. I agree with you that the computer may not be so good for us, physically that is. This may sound woo-woo but sometimes I think the energetic field it emits does something to my brain. It seems like it’s revving me up but then again maybe it’s just that my body is stressing up when I am on it too long and that’s my problem. Who knows? All I know is that I really do need to temper myself and take many breaks when I’m working. To breathe! ^_^

    • March 2, 2012 1:12 pm

      There is already some evidence that the internet/computer/tv/etc. is having an impact on us. It’s woo woo now, but I bet in time (if the powers that be don’t block the knowledge) it will be out in the open. When I spend to much time on the computer I feel like I have a wad of cotton between my eyes. I can’t decide whether it’s eye fatigue, brain fatigue or something woo woo, either way I don’t like it! It seems to tax a certain part of our brains and under uses others. It’s nice to have this conversation with you! My sons simply roll their eyes when I bring it up and yet they are probably the ones that will be most affected by it in the long run.

      • March 2, 2012 2:16 pm

        I have two grown sons who roll their eyes at me also! Let that not deter us from our experience with computers! BTW, I love your description of “a wad of cotton between my eyes”. It’s perfect! Keep smiling and carry on! Hugs ~ Diane

  7. March 17, 2012 11:40 am

    This is my first time here, and I can assure you, it’s definitely not the last. I’m a first time blogger, writing about women & I can learn a lot form you. Thank you.

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