Miracles Await Us Every Day

It was bitter cold that night. Icy winds swept through the dark, manmade valleys between towering skyscrapers. It  ripped around corners, confronting us as we stepped out from behind our concrete protector, and meeting us with such force it took our breath away. Hunched over, we pulled our scarves up over our faces and leaned  into it as we fought our way toward Times Square.

It was New Year’s Eve, 1972.  Layered in long johns, sweaters, coats, socks and gloves, we each had a bottle of something-or-other tucked away in our pockets;  Blackberry Brandy, Peppermint Schnapps, Scotch, in a small, compact size for easy, invisible transporting.

Knotted arm in arm, we giggled and talked our way down Fifth Avenue, filled with the electricity of the occasion. As we wound our way through the crowds, dodging other bundled celebrants, we searched for the perfect spot to wait for the ball drop. Celebrating New Year’s Eve, Times Square style, was a first for all of us, though we lived  less than thirty miles away.

Home from college for the holidays, a guy friend from high school and his twin brother cooked up this little adventure to ring in the New Year. The three of us had been having such adventures since we were sixteen, and devoid of the complications of romance, at least in my mind, we always had a good time. On this occasion,  my friend’s  twin brother (who had also become my friend by that time) had his new girlfriend with him.

You never know how things are going to go in life.  I did not envision the winding road my life would take, nor did I foresee that ten years later I would walk down the aisle to link arm in arm, life with life, heart with heart, with someone I had ushered in the new year in 1973. My date, and good friend, that night is now my brother-in-law.

Nor, did I envision that one day I would usher in 2014, with that very same man by my side, and two sons celebrating their twenty-something New Year’s Eves, five states away from where I celebrated at their age that night. It’s only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”.

We like to think we can control our destinies. We like to believe that we can shape our futures. To some extent I am quite certain that we do, but only insofar as we follow our hearts and go where they lead. I followed the path of love, truth and honesty. I made mistakes, many of them. But love carried me forward. Love led me to my life’s partner. I envisioned someone different, my heart had other ideas. My heart has always been right.

Every year, I get a little bit better at setting aside external expectations, both my own and that of others. Every decade I become a little more deeply connected to myself and my source.  I no longer yearn for love and understanding,  I do my best to love and understand myself.  I no longer look for acceptance from the world, I offer acceptance to others and how I feel about myself no longer seems important. I no longer long for miracles, I expect them. Life, after all, is miracle enough.

I could walk into 2014 with a million plans and expectations of what I’d like to see come to pass, but instead,  I am choosing to start this new year with the continued commitment to follow where my heart and soul leads, and with the deep and abiding conviction that many more miracles await. I’ve come to expect them.

Dorothy Sander © 2014