A Lecherous Dessert
Modern times and advancing years brings us many an occasion for laughter, both at life and ourselves. I’m not sure that life is really any funnier as we get older, I mean how it could it be when we face daily the difficulties that aging brings. The humor is just a bit more apparent as the absurdities and juxtaposition of the ridiculous in the common place come into sharper focus. One is able to be just a bit less serious about it all. Comic relief, perhaps.
The weekend past presented just such an occasion. My husband, Scott, and I stopped at Costco to pick up a few staples, reams of toilet paper, coffee, dog food, you know the necessities that keep one going. While we were there, we decided to pick up one of their luscious and incredibly priced desserts. We were having a couple of friends for dinner that evening. If you’ve ever had one you know, Costco’s cheesecakes are to die for and about half the price of grocery store offerings. Who cares that it’s enough to feed an army? It’s delicious and it’s cheap! (What a wonderful excuse to indulge…if one needs an excuse!)
Scott went off to pick up the milk, and I ambled over to check out the dessert selection. The first thing I noticed was that the cheesecake price had gone from $9.99 to $12.99. While still cheap, a bit more than I had I had in mind. In the cooler with the cheesecake they had an item on sale — $2.00 off . At first glance I assumed it was a fancy cheesecake, a Turtle Cheesecake perhaps. Yummy, but rich, both in price and calories. So, I went off in search of other options.
A selection of bakery cookies for $6.99 seemed about right. I thought I’d check with the cook and see if he agreed before picking them up. I found Scott hovering over the cheesecake. We were both raised on New York Cheesecake and the southern fare has left us wanting, that is until we discovered Costco cheesecake. So when the opportunity arises it’s pretty hard for him to pass it up. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to go for the cookie idea.
“Did you see the price?” he blurted as I approached. “They have this thing here that’s $2.00 off. I think we should get it.” Did I say my husband loves a bargain? That’s why he can be seen at Costco six or seven days a week. (I do I exaggerate from time to time.)
“Is it cheesecake?” I ask.
“I don’t think so. It’s called Tres Leches, whatever that is. But look, it has this big slab of chocolate on the top, and caramel! How can we go wrong?”
“I’ll look it up on my phone,” I say, pleased with the quick and easy access of hand-held iPhones! I pull up Safari on the tiny screen and point the little arrow to the search box. “Spell it for me,” I say.
“L_E_C_H_E_S”, and I press send. (I’m pretty sure most of you know what Tres Leches is, and being one who is very familiar with La Leches League from my childbearing years, should have figured it out, however…..I’m pretty sure I had Saturday Costco brain.
When the search engines returned their results, up popped an extensive version of porn sites! I burst out laughing when I realized what had happened. Truly people, do you really think that people searching for porn are going to be looking for “leches”? I didn’t type it with an “r” at the end. I really didn’t !
We abandoned our internet search and bought the cake. How could we not! What a great story! We laughed our way to the checkout counter over the image of two sixty somethings in the middle of Costco searching for lecherous and lascivious websites! When we got home and did a proper search we discovered that it means, “three milks”…duh. If you haven’t had it, I highly recommend it! Yum! (And I promise, no naked women jump out of the cake!)
I thought later how I might have gotten upset and angry with the prevalence of pornography on the internet. It is a serious concern and an issue that I, as a parent, found cause for great concern. Or, as an older person, I might not have allowed myself access to technology as away of hanging on to simpler times and refusing to participate in its overuse. But, I believe its important to make use of the gifts the world provides…in moderation…and I love technology for what it has done for the availability not only of information, but perhaps more importantly for the older population, social connection. Life is about balance, learning to step into the stream and back out again, and to find the humor in the absurd!
One more thing I was glad to discover that day: In some very important ways, we are oh so much smarter than Google! Human beings will always have the edge over technology. Of this I am sure.
Dorothy Sander © 2014
TRES LECHES CAKE is a light, airy sponge cake soaked with a mixture of three milks: evaporated milk, sweetened condensed milk, and heavy cream. (Thank you for this very clear description Pioneer Woman!)